Are you a military spouse who is trying to have a thriving career while your loved one is gunning for that next promotion milestone? Have you ever felt like this next move will derail your professional advancement yet again? Do you have some resentment or frustration around moving because if you could just stay in place, then you would be recognized for your value?

You are not alone. And while there are challenges with being a military spouse on the move, there are also endless opportunities!

[MAY 26 MOAA WEBINAR: Making Your Next Move: The Masterful Mindset for Military Spouses]

Consider this theory: Circumstances in life do not determine outcomes. It’s our thoughts about our circumstances that generate a feeling and lead to an action (or inaction) that produces a result.

Here’s an example: Chris and Pat are (respectively) home alone on Friday night. Chris is relishing this quiet time after a hectic week at work, while Pat is feeling lonely because she thinks she should be out with friends. The circumstance is the same – they are home alone – but Chris is feeling “content” while Pat is feeling “down.”

So Chris heats up his favorite dinner, pops on his favorite series and goes to bed at a decent time so that he is rested for the weekend ahead. Pat, on the other hand, turns to social media, pops open an adult beverage and compares herself to everyone’s seemingly “perfect life” as she scrolls endlessly. Pat stays up late in a fruitless effort to feel connected, then she oversleeps, which interferes with her plans the next day. Believable?

The point is, thoughts about circumstances produce feelings, and those feelings cause us to act (or not act). But we do not have to be victims of our thoughts just because we think them: All too often, our thoughts remain unchecked, unchallenged, and unexamined, and they end up wreaking havoc on our emotions and our lives.

[MOAA INTERVIEW: This Army Spouse Finds Success on the Move]

What does being home alone on a Friday night have to do with military spouses who want thriving careers? They are different situations with the same core principle: Your thoughts about your circumstance dictate the outcome. You can choose to indulge in self-sabotaging or self-optimizing thoughts; the reaction is 100% up to you, not your spouse or employer, or even the service relocating your family (again).

So whether you are facing another move or other life circumstance (obstacle/opportunity), learn how to reclaim your mind and start living the life you love now – not after “Event X” or some change in circumstances. Your life is happening now and you only have one, so live with intention!

To learn more about mastering your mindset and optimizing your next move (or anything else in life), join MOAA on May 26 for an interactive workshop and learn how to choose your thoughts, feel empowered, and building a masterful mindset!